GRATITUDE, FULFILLMENT AND SURRENDER

 "If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never truly be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you."  Lao Tzu

I read the above quote on New Years morning and it stopped me in my tracks. I kept reading it and decided to sit with it for a few minutes and let it sink in. After a while I remembered I had written in my journal on the morning of December 30, "What do I need to know, or be, or do in order to be fulfilled?"

As I continued to read, I ran across this quote, which answered my question of two days earlier. 

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity.... Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." Melody Beattie

I immediately understood the connection between gratitude and fulfillment. I believe gratitude is thankfulness on steroids. I see thankfulness as an acknowledgement of something and gratitude as a deep heart feeling. I am aware that when I feel gratitude, it elicits within me a feeling of joy and happiness. It takes thank you to the next level.

I want to live a life of gratitude, and though I do have a lot of gratitude for most of life, there are still areas that I find myself struggling with. It is this struggle that stands in the way of my living a satisfied, fulfilled life. It is my need to fight for control instead of surrendering. 

It is easier to surrender to life when it feels good, than when it requires looking at  pieces of my life I would rather not have to deal with. I am talking about areas like looking within for the source of my frustrations and anger that take me out of a place of contentment and into a place where I cry out, "Got damnit" or "F**k"; a place where I want to blame someone or something for my anger. 

Since walking this healing path requires me to be present to whatever is, I have many moments of frustration and anger. I am not always happy with what is and I sometimes want to fight life instead of surrendering to it.

I am aware that to some, surrender means weakness.  To me, surrender means to give up my need to control people and life . My concept of living in gratitude means accepting life, myself and others as it and we are. 

My intention for 2023 is to experience a level of contentment and joy beyond what I have known, to be filled with gratitude and to live a fulfilled life. I know it is there, I know it is possible. In fact, I believe contentment, joy and fulfillment is our birthright.