TAKEAWAYS FROM 2022

 2022 has flown by and as I look back it feels like it was one of the most active years I have experienced in decades. So much happened this year. I traveled to Costa Rica for a destination wedding, I visited girlfriends in Pa. and Fl., my grandson was married in April  and my son was married in June, my son gave me an 80th birthday bash at his beach house and I got to see the new year in with my children, grandchildren and a great-grandchild,  my granddaughter moved in with me and Paul in September, I hosted a sister-friend weekend in November at my son's beach house and Paul and I made it through a week without power due to a 16" snowfall in January. It seemed there was always something either going on or being planned. I am not complaining about any of it because for the most part I really enjoyed the events of the year.

This year was not just about events, it was also about insights. I saw a lot into myself , my patterns and how I tend to do life according to my basic beliefs about myself, and the stories I have told myself and have believed about life.

One of the big takeaways from this year was learning to look within when I am resisting or struggling with life and its situations. I became aware of how often I look outside of myself in an effort to blame someone else for what is happening and how I am feeling. It is so easy to want to remove the mote out of the other person's eye than to see the beam in my own eye. When frustrated, I want to blame someone else for the frustration which solves nothing. I find when I blame the other I just get more angry because they are not who I want them to be and my frustration grows into anger. Nothing is solved when we look without because the cause of the frustration is within. 

So takeaway # 1 is learning to look within  instead of dumping my anger and frustration on someone else.

Another takeaway from this year was seeing clearly the difference between saying "I love you" and actually showing and practicing love. I am acutely aware of how easy it is to say the words without following up with action. I believe love is a verb, even though it can be used as a noun.  Though words carry a lot of weight, they can still be hollow.

I understand that a lot of people love me and I am grateful to be loved. However, there is a difference between saying I love you and actually caring for someone. Here is what I have come to understand about caring.  My heart is gladdened and I feel warm inside when someone reaches out with a phone call, an email, a text or a written note because they are thinking of me.  Or when someone asks, "What can I do to help?" That is what I call being cared for. To care for others requires us to move beyond self and into a place of considering others needs. I am not talking about giving up myself for another, I am talking about going beyond myself out of consideration of others. That is caring.  

So takeaway # 2 has been a huge one for me this year and I am still deeply embedded in the process of allowing myself to be cared for, asking for care and consideration when needed, and letting more love in. 

I have no idea what 2023 will be like but I do know that the words "slow down" are running through my being. I feel the nudging within to take longer and slower breaths, to be where I am instead of running into the next moment and to  spend more quiet moments looking within for the source of my comfort and discomfort. 

Happy new year to all. May your year be filled with peace, joy and love and care for all of mankind.