More on Resistance and Surrender

 

I recently wrote about surrender and had no intention of writing about it again. However, life has a different intention for me because I often find myself in situations where I am being called upon to make a choice. Do I surrender or do I resist.  

Before I get to writing more about surrender, I want to focus on the opposite of surrender, which is to resist.  The word resist means to set back, to oppose actively, to ward off.  Please know this: resistance does create anger and anger can create resistance.

For most of us, our first instinct, when something is not going the way we want it to go, is to resist.  It is so easy to get angry about life and others and to build a case for the anger. However, when we choose the anger that resistance creates, we inadvertently bring distress to our sensitive nervous systems. Doing this to our self actually creates a storm of inner violence and is very stressful to our bodies and our psyches. 

Resisting is an attempt to control and one of the biggest fear mechanisms we all possess is "control."  If we can control, or attempt to control, we ward off having to face unpleasant feelings, especially fear.  Control is a powerful offshoot of fear. We fear that which is different, so we attempt to control it. We may fear anger so we attempt to control our own and others expression of anger. We may fear sadness and tears so we attempt to control all expression of sadness. We may fear feeling shame or embarrassment so we attempt to control anything and anyone whose behavior may elicit shame within. 

We can fool ourselves into thinking we are strong when we are "in control" but this is not necessarily so. Real strength comes in being able to let go. Due to the experience of learning to let go, especially when it comes to others and their choices in life, I find myself experiencing a deeper sense of inner peace and a heightened sense of gratitude. I have found that the deepest peace and contentment I have ever felt came from surrender to what is. 

I am not saying surrender is easy, because often it is not. But it is the way of the peaceful warrior. I can fight against or I can stand for in gratitude and self care,

There are some things I can change, and when I can, I do. I am aware that most of what I can change has to do with me and not others behaviors, attitudes or choices. I can choose to cut down on how much chocolate I eat or how many martinis I have. I can hold my tongue and check myself before I say something mean or inappropriate. These are all within my control and to change them does not interrupt the smooth functioning of my nervous system or cause harm to myself. 

As humans living in this world we will always be faced with choices in life. It is up to each of us to decide whether we want to live a peaceful life or if we want to fight life. For me, I choose peace.