Life is not always a pretty package tied with a beautiful satin bow. Sometimes the package is wrapped in plain brown paper and tied with a scruffy piece of string.
Sometimes I am surefooted and certain, and other times I am not sure about life or where I am going. There are moments when I am full of faith and the next moment I may have doubt. Some days I float along in joy, and other days sadness is my closest friend. Sometimes I sing, sometimes I cry. I have days of loving everything and everybody, and moments of anger, mistrust, fear and disappointment. THIS IS LIFE!!
We are whole beings and our journey here is about evolution of our soul. In order to evolve into our wholeness, our authenticity, we have to encounter and welcome back those parts that were split off and fractured. We must own our doubt, fear, sadness, anger and sense of inadequacy and shame. These are the orphans of our soul that have been cast aside because we do not like how they look or feel. We may think they are "unspiritual" and try to ignore them, deny them, get rid of them or pretend they are not there. We cast them out like a red-headed stepchild, and leave them on the doorstep of life hoping we will not have to deal with them, acknowledge them or give them a name. They become our orphans and we can spend countless hours pretending they do not exist; even when they do.
Because we are conscious, spiritual beings does not mean we always are on the up side and have nothing but positive thoughts and experiences. The authentic life is filled with both darkness and light.
In order to be seen and acknowledged our orphans sometimes clamor for attention. They can be like a kid needing attention, who pulls on his mother's skirt or his father's pants leg. We may push them away, but they will continue to come back and pull on our skirt or pants leg again and again. Denying them access to light will not make them go away because they are already a part of our being. They may go into hiding for a while and make us think they are gone, but when we least expect it, they reappear.
Someone may cut in front of us in line and we are ready to snatch them by the hair, or we may drop and break a dozen eggs on the floor and we have a meltdown. A person says something to us that activates our sense of shame and we go into attack mood. Rage, name calling, meltdowns, screaming at others, giving the finger to someone, needing to control people and things, and cursing objects or people are all part of the human experience that most of us would rather not acknowledge. They are our orphans. We do not like to think of ourselves as being less than perfect so we deny what we think is imperfect and unacceptable.
Here's the thing. Denial does not make anything magically disappear.
Until we learn to embrace our orphans and bring them into the light, while being open to seeing them fully, we will not be able to experience our fullness. Recognizing and accepting them as a part of our being is what shifts us into a place of authenticity and wholeness. THEY ARE ALREADY THERE!!
We all have orphans, those parts of self we disown and do our best to not let them see the light of day. God help us if someone should see our whole self.
We will always be missing a part of our selves, until we love, nurture and nourish our entire being, even the parts we don't like. It is safe to make space for the fractured and disallowed parts of self. Give your orphans a home. Embrace them. Shower them with love and allow yourself to be at peace with your authenticity, and keep in mind that we are all perfectly imperfect.
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