A CALL TO WOMEN

 This is a repost of some of a blog I wrote in 2011, right around Mardi Gras time in New Orleans. Since yesterday was Mardi Gras, I felt it time to pull this article out of the archives, rewrite it and post it again.

A CALL TO WOMEN

I was watching a clip of Mardi Gras festivities and remembered all the Mardi Gras parades I have attended. Something that happens often at the parades is: the men on the float will holler at the girls who are screaming "throw me something mister", "Show me your tits." If the girls comply, they might get thrown a nicer pair of Mardi gras beads. 

It has always been shocking to me how many girls will lift their shirt and show their breasts so they can be thrown a pair of cheap Mardi Gras beads. I have often wanted to throw a blanket over these girls and give them a dollar so they can go buy a pair of Mardi Gras beads.

I am very aware of how many women think it is necessary to entertain men with their bodies.  Not just women, but young girls who are being misled to act and dress sexy so they can be approved by the boys. I feel sick in my gut when I ask a young preteen to pose for a picture and she purses her lips and strikes a sexy pose. When are women going to quit dressing and behaving like sex objects, like we are a piece of meat on display, so the one with the biggest, firmest breast and nicest butt will be the ones who get picked.  Is it because women are taught from a young age that we are here to pleasure men? Perhaps there is something wrong with a society that has so much disrespect for women, including women disrespecting other women.

When I hear talk about how far women have come,  I wonder what planet these people live on. I understand the rumor is that we have come a long way baby. We have brilliant women in politics, in the military, the aerospace industry and the medical industry. In fact, we have brilliant women in most industries, and I am thrilled with this. But, is that all we are interested in as women? I certainly am not downplaying the right and the awesomeness of women having jobs in what for many years has been considered a man's world. However, I say we need to take the next and highest step, which is having and receiving respect that comes from knowing we belong to ourselves, and not to men. 

With my eyes wide open I watch how women go about in the world. It is still basically a man's world because the patriarchal system is alive and well. In fact, the number of women who still dress, behave and talk like they are a sex object and they belong to men, is staggering. Something is off when we live in a world where women, from teenagers up, are obsessed with breast augmentation, blowing up their lips, dressing as skimpy as possible, and giving themselves away for a wink, a smile, a date, a pair of beads or approval.

Women are not here to be exploited. We are beautiful, brilliant, nurturing and strong and it is powerful to realize we belong to ourselves and the sisterhood, not to men,. We deserve respect, and when we quit dressing and behaving like life does not matter unless we get a second look from a man, we may start to be treated like the goddesses we are.

Before you start writing me hate letters, let me tell you that I love  the brotherhood of men. I have an awesome husband who respects me and my right to personhood, autonomy and control over my body. When we discuss this topic, he reminds me that many, many men are chauvinists who do believe they own women. He and I agree that we are all playing the roles we were taught to play as little girls and little boys. If our roles had been defined differently, we would be acting different. So, I do not hate men. What I despise is the patriarchal system that wants to put women down, own us, use us for their pleasure, deny us our rights and freedoms and put our health care at risk. 

There have been pockets of women at different times in our culture, who have fought for the rights of women to be treated as equals. We have made strides in the business world, but personally I want more than to be able to wear pants, smoke a cigar, play football on a man's team, be the president ,or own a large corporation. These are tokens. Being seen as equal means being treated with respect for my personhood, not being treated as the weaker sex who needs to be conquered and who has no right to a credit card or a checkbook. 

Listen up ladies!! We carry babies in our womb and we birth them, we nurse them and raise them, we are the managers  of our homes. and I have no doubt if women ruled the world we would be a much more peaceful world.  We can bring home the bacon, fry it in a pan and serve it to ourselves and our families. Do not allow yourself to be treated as a sex object or a second class citizen  We are not meant to be defined by men. We have value and worth no matter how old we are, what we look like or who we choose to be in relationship with. 

Women have had to fight for their rights. We fought for the right to vote, to control our bodies, to have a credit card and a bank account, to own property, to get the same education as men and to speak in churches. These rights have all been handed to men, (if they are white men). Stand up in your power ladies and be seen and heard, not as a sex object but as the strong woman you are. And, while you are standing up for yourself, stand up for the entire sisterhood please.

YOU MATTER MY SISTERS!!  

WOMEN SPEAKING UP

 

I am watching, in awe, the women of this country stand up, and stand together, to make their voices heard. Women are saying, "We will not go backwards." "We will not be silent." "We will not let others dictate to us what we can and cannot do with our bodies." " We demand the sane autonomy that men have."

Women are speaking up, marching in the streets and going to the polls in droves, in order to be heard. The days of women sitting silently by as the patriarchy attempts to keep them in their place, is coming to an end, We are standing up for the right to be treated as an equal.

Back in my day, the 1940's and 50's, most women were taught that our place was in the home creating a nice, clean space for the king to be in when he got home, in the kitchen preparing family meals, a cooperative partner in the bedroom who did not have the right to say "no," and the one responsible for raising the children. PLEASE HEAR ME CLEARLY!!  There is nothing wrong with being a homemaker. I stayed home taking care of my children until my baby was in Junior High. I loved my role as a homemaker and still have the highest respect for women who choose to be homemakers. 

My message to women in this specific blog is this. You are a first class citizen. You are not inferior. You are not chattel. You are not owned by anyone. You have a voice and it is okay to use it. You can speak softly or you can holler into a megaphone. Either is okay.

Let me say this again. When I speak or write about the patriarchy, I am not talking about men in general. I love men. I honor and respect men. What I do not honor is the patriarchy, which includes those men who believe it is their god given right to lord it over women. Women are not here to serve men. We are not here to be conquered or kept in our place. 

We are here to use our power to nurture and care for Self and others, not out of a duty, but out of love and compassion for other humans. We are here to be full of ourselves and to live large, to support the sisterhood, to be the epitome of goodness and kindness, to speak the truth and to stand for justice. 

We have the power of the voice and the vote. Let's use them for the good of women and for the good of all mankind. Speak up ladies!!  You matter!! 

I AM WOMAN-HEAR ME ROAR

 

This blog has been rolling around in me for a few days now, and I have been arguing with myself about whether to write it or not. What most of my readers probably do not know about me, is that I struggle with myself about what to put out there in the public sphere. I have noticed that the stuff I struggle with the most, is usually the posts that I get the most positive feedback from. So, here goes.

For years, I have been very aware of the "patriarchy" and how it operates. I began to notice this back in the 1970's and my awareness has continued to grow as I listen, read  and observe. When I talk about patriarchy, I am not talking about men in general, because all men are not patriarchal. 

Patriarchy applies to the rule and domination by men. It is about the thought that men are superior and that women are supposed to be subject to them. It is about men being the rulers, chiefs and law makers. True patriarchs will not go down without a fight. They are not about to give up their right to rule.

When women begin to roar, patriarchy responds with a fight. The fight usually includes an attempt to silence women, to patronize, accuse, make fun of, slap down, shut up, pass laws against and in some cases kill. A true patriarch is afraid of women's power, and will do all they can to keep it at bay and keep it quiet, submissive and under patriarchal control. 

While those men who are terrified of woman's power, are doing what they can to keep us silent and in our place, the powerful feminine spirit within each woman is questioning, rising up and clamoring against the injustice and the de-humanization being done to women all over. We are finding our voices and marching and crying out against what we have submitted to for so long. 

Here is my story about the experience I had when I began to awaken and  find my voice. 

Back in the 70's I belonged to a church that believed men were the superior sex, and that women were supposed to submit to and defer to the voice of patriarchy. I was enslaved in this belief and lived in it for about three years. Thankfully, truth began to dawn on me, and I started waking up. As I did, I found myself  questioning the status quo, and thinking, "wait a minute, something does not feel right here."  I knew in my bones that something was out of kilter. I felt the imbalance in my spirit, but at first did not know what was no longer sitting in my gut as "the truth." Slowly, I began to see the ugliness of patriarchy and I began to share my message in different groups. 

It was not long before I personally found out the extent patriarchy will go to shut down a woman who is speaking out for equality of women. The elders first brought me before their esteemed group and demanded I shut up or leave the church. Believe me, I wanted to leave that institution more than they wanted me gone, but I could not leave because I knew in my heart it was not the right time. I was being called on to share my message of freedom and power with some of the women and knew I had to stay till I was through. I knew in my heart I would be protected and would leave at just the right time.

During this time, I had different men and women in the church tell me I was demon-possessed, and attempted to call them out of me. Since there were no demons in me, their attempt to exorcise me failed. They called me names and told all the women to stay away from me because I was evil. However, there were a handful of women who were ready to hear a message of power and freedom. I wanted them to know they were not inferior and they were not here for the service of men. Whenever I had the chance, I told them how beautiful, worthy  and magnificent they were. Some heard me, many were terrified of what I was saying and closed their ears and hearts. 

Finally, it all came to a head on a Sunday morning. I went to church, as was my custom, and when the service was over I walked out of the sanctuary and into the vestibule. There was a large circle of people waiting for me. The circle was composed of the elders, the pastors, and a lot of angry men and women. I was publicly cast out and told to never come back. As I stood outside the church, instead of shame, I felt relief because I knew my  time there was finally over, and I was free to no longer go there. I was empowered to continue to spread the message of the sacredness of the feminine and the beauty and sisterhood of women. 

 I left that place with the sad knowledge of how afraid many women are of hearing the truth about their power and their place in the world, and how afraid the patriarchy is of having their throne toppled and there being equality among all.

Here it is, almost 50 years later, and I still see the fear in many women about being told of their magnificence. I also see the stronghold the patriarchy still has, and their deep fear of losing that hold. I can only hope that both male and female will come to an understanding of the equality of the sexes, and that women will give up the fear of questioning patriarchal power. I also hold out hope that the patriarchy will see the ugliness and brutality of their incessant need to rule and have power over women, and be willing to give it up.

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