THE LEADING CAUSES OF LIFE

 I dare say, in our society, most people have heard the phrase, "the leading cause of death".  Some say, the answer is cancer or heart attack. Most are familiar with the phrase because it is talked about by many. Often, following the phrase, is a list of ways to avoid being a victim of the "leading cause." What they don't tell us, or talk about, is "the leading cause of life."

Personally, I am more interested in what will add to my life, than what will possibly cause my death. We will all die. No one is getting out of here alive. That is old news. But, while we are here on this planet, wouldn't it be wonderful to do what it takes to contribute to life? I want to live my best life. I want to be an authentic, truth-telling, life-loving human. My guess is that the majority of humans feel the same way.

I believe, on some level, we are all possessed with the longing to be whole, to fly, to create, to dance, to dream, to paint, to write, to be big and large and full of who we truly are. We are possessed with the desire to live fully. 

There are many causes of life, as there are many causes of death. I consider myself to be a student of life, and over the years have come to the following conclusion. In order for me to live life to the fullest, I need to 1) believe in myself, 2) believe in something greater and larger than myself and 3) love, acknowledge and care for myself.

Believing in myself:  This takes work and commitment. I often have to remind myself that I am not my story or my circumstances. Who I am is a child of creator energy, therefore I am love and lovable, compassionate and kind, a light being who is here to heal and be whole, and to offer all of who I am to the planet and its inhabitants.

Believing in something greater and larger than myself: I definitely believe in divine, benevolent energy,  that fills the universe and therefore fills all of us. I feel the love and kindness that flows from this pervasive energy and immerse myself in it. There are many names for this energy. Some call it God, some Goddess, others Allah. I know many who call it All There Is, Creator, Mother/Father God and Great Spirit. I know this energy on a personal level because I am immersed in it. It is not an entity that sits on a cloud, but rather is warm and loving and allows me to wrap myself in it. 

Loving, acknowledging and caring for myself: I have found, and continue to find, ways to love myself. I believe when we have love for self, not ego love, but love for the divine spirit that inhabits who we are, we cannot help but give love to the world.  Some of the ways I practice loving myself are:

• I seek the healing, insight and support that will help me to release the attitudes and emotions that keep me from experiencing the wonder of my true self.
• I do "nothing" by spending time relaxing, reflecting, and simply being, in order to connect with my higher self.
• I spend time in nature, hugging trees and basking in the beauty and grace of creation.
• I buy clothes that reflect who I am.
• I do my best to uphold my principles and stand for light and life.

My desire is to be fully here, while I am here. With all of this in mind, I have to say, I often miss the boat. I forget who I am and why I am here. I get caught up in bullshit and petty things. I indulge in junk food, not fast food, but junk food like chips and cake and cookies. I sometimes forget we are all children of creator energy. I resist life and what is and fall into darkness and despair. 

But, here's the good part. Somehow, I always return to myself and pick up where I left off. I re-involve myself in practicing the leading causes of life and bask in gratitude for loving, creator energy who always brings me back to myself and to truth. 

Be large!! Be authentic!! Be light and love!!  And, finally, be peace!! What you are is what you give to others...

WAKING UP

Spring is almost here and I feel like I am awakening from a deep and dark slumber.

Nature is waking up and I feel I am too. It's like I feel the sap running through my branches again, and buds beginning to pop up and out. I actually am starting to feel like I can breathe again. 

One of the buds opening within me, is a renewed interest in life. I am noticing the sky again and watching the trees come to life.  I do believe our bodies emulate the cycle of a tree!! Most trees (except for evergreens) are dormant and naked in winter, and even appear to be dead, when in reality they are only at rest and in a very quiet place. Is this where I have been? In a dormant state of sleep and rest? I have believed for years that our bodies needs to follow the path of nature, but somehow in my illness, I forgot that simple truth. My spirit is reminding me that I have been in a winter's state of being, and eventually winter passes away and spring returns. 

The second bud opening within is a feeling of hope. Even with the horrific wars going on all over the planet, with thousands of innocent souls being slaughtered, I still feel hope for mankind and for myself.

I even have hope, while in the middle of watching the great political divide, and the effort to destroy democracy playing out across our country. I feel sad over the news of it all, and cry a lot for the suffering of humanity, but know what I am called to do, is to stand in light and love.  And, I still have hope.

I realize the reason I still have hope is because in spite of the ugliness and hatred, I continuously encounter kindness and civility. No matter where I go, I ALWAYS encounter kindness. It seems the people I run into in the grocery store, doctors office, Lowes, restaurants, and wherever else I may wind up, are  all considerate and kind. This gives me hope that though ugliness and evil  are rearing its head, kindness and consideration are still alive and well in the soul of many. I do not remember a time in my life when I have heard so many meaningful , "I'm sorry", "may I help you reach that?", "you go first" and other words of human kindness. This gives me great hope.

The third bud blossoming within is joy, just for being alive, and having the ability to see, hear and smell the dawning of spring. When I step outside and walk around my yard, I see life popping up all over. My lilac bush is full of buds, my tulips are pushing through the dirt, my mums are greening at the base and my butterfly bushes are preparing to blossom.  Watching nature wake up and fill the earth with its many colors and smells, gives me great joy.

I feel like I am waking up from a long slumber, where I have been void of hope and joy, where shortness of breath. exhaustion and brain fog, and physical pain have been my constant companions.  While in this place I have had much doubt that I would ever feel better again, or that I would live to see the end of 2024.  My good days are getting a little better and my not so good days are not quite as bad as they have been, and for that I am very grateful.  

Today I feel alive, I have hope for myself, my country, humanity and the planet. The sap is running through my veins, and I am so delighted to be able to say with great meaning-Happy awakening and happy spring to all!! 

BEING A SEEKER AND CHANGING COURSE

When one way of seeing, doing, or thinking about life no longer works to our advantage, it may be wise to change our course. In most cases, there is more than one way to get from here to there. We can get stuck doing something one way and miss or even refuse to change course and try another way.

The old saying, "But we have always done it this way," can cause us to get stuck in how we do life. I believe, in order to change our course in life, it requires us to change our thinking. Because we have always thought one way about something does not mean we cannot think another way.

A lot of what we do or think has been passed on to us by our caretakers and/or by society, religion and authority figures. Because mom, dad, grandma or the Rabbi or priest said something was absolute does not mean you can't question it. 

When I was growing up, a lot of pedagogy was passed on to me, and I  grabbed hold of it and lived my life according to those rules. I did not question what I was taught, because I believed if an authority figure was teaching it, it must be right. I also was taught that it was unacceptable to question what my elders said. 

As I  got older and began to develop my own life, I started questioning a lot of what I was taught, and my life began to change. Life has actually gotten bigger. Asking "who made that rule?" and "Is this really true?" has set me free from many of my self-imposed/inflicted barriers to larger living.

I always adhered to the belief that it was faux pas to wear white after labor day and to have long hair after age 50. I knew, and I thought rightfully so,  blacks had their own section of town, if you were not a catholic you were going to hell, and if you were gay something was wrong with you.  Children were to be seen and not heard, god was a male figure and if my family or church said something was so, it was so. This was how I lived, the road I walked, and the course I was on.

Gratefully, I grew up and learned it was okay to question the rules of my family, the teachings of my elders and the dogma of the church. I learned I had a brain and it was okay, and even good, to be a critical thinker. I could think for myself!!

As my thinking broadened, so did my life. Some of the questions I asked, and the truths I saw as a result, scared me. As I began to change the dance steps I had always done, I soon found myself out of step with those in my life who were not ready to try new dance steps. I understood that it was easier to cling to long held beliefs and not question anything.  Over a short period of time I began to feel like a pariah, even within my own family.

Let me be clear that I did not begin to question the way of life I had been taught, just for the sake of questioning. The questions started because my soul was longing for expansion. I knew, on some level there was more to life and living than what has been passed on to me. It did not matter if everyone around me believed black was white. I was being pushed from within to take a long hard look at it and see if black was really black. (I am not talking about skin color.) What I did not know at the time was that I was destined to be a seeker. 

I remember, once, a long time ago, my brother and I were both visiting our mother at the same time. He came to me in the kitchen one morning, as I was sitting at the table writing. He gave me a piece of paper with a scripture on it. It was something about seeking. He told he he was worried about me because I always seeking and searching. I was instantly aware that in his mind, he believed something was wrong with me, because I was a seeker. I knew there would be no value in arguing for myself or in trying to make him understand where I was. So I just smiled at him and acknowledged he was right. I was a seeker!!

My heart has always been a seeking heart. When I was younger I did not know that because I did not know it was okay to find my own path in life.

I am still a seeker and probably always will be. I embrace that part of myself. I embrace my longing for more-more clarity, more life and a bigger vision. It is who I am. It is a big part of why I am here. I have learned that the clearer my vision and the larger and lighter my life, the more inclusive I have become, the deeper my empathy for others, and my compassion for the suffering I see in the world has grown.

I paid a price for being a questioner, for stepping outside of the box and coloring outside the lines. But, I do not regret any of it, and I continue to question and seek in order to continually broaden my vision. This is me and I honor my walk and my hunger.